Sunday, 29 November 2015

Cause Love is what matter most

Assalamua'laikum dear lovelies and awesome readers!

(well, you know who you are so smileeeee :)

Let me share something with you guys here which I have kept it to be written for so months. But then again, you know time always jealous not only on me but to all of us AM I RIGHT? 

So, at least im gonna to share about it finnnnallly! 

*sigh*

*note: this is going to be a long rambling, bear in mind dear peeps!*


    Frankly speaking, I had never had the opportunity to see my own grandfather or grandmother as they both passed away before I was born. So, that's what we called fate right? I just can be redha..that's it.

   But today, not about them that I would share about. It's about another person which I assumed he's the replacement of my own grandfather that comfortably being called "Atuk" and his beloved wife "Wan".
They're such a perfect loving couple regardless how old they are.

   You guys must be wondering how on earth I got to know these two folks isn't?

     Simple, their one and only daughter is my mom's close friend since high school despite they are in different class. At first they lost contact for years after finished high school, all of them have their own life, got married and have kids untill...one this moment Aunt Jaz's son admitted in ward which to be happened in the department where my mother was working. From there, they keep in touch back again until now. 

    Make it short, in 2010 vividly I can recall this one kind incident that Atuk was admitted into hospital. Days before my mom had a call with Wan and she told that Atuk was having high fever. You know old man, too stubborn to see doctor in the hospital. They rather go to private clinic and get medicines and have set in mind that the fever will get ok in few days ahead. Then done! 

     So, only after that during his admittance the kidney need to be dialysis-ed since that organ was not working properly to pass urine etc. Guess what? That's was the first ever in Atuk's life he undergoes a kidney dialysis.What a surprise and by that can you imagine how critical his condition is? 
He was also almost be placed in ICU due to the on and off stable which means anything could happened that moment! My god...

     Then, on the consecutive day during Ramadhan in the late evening almost time for breaking fast and my mom and I was on the way home from our relative's place. While she's driving, phone ringing stated 'Jaz'. I gulped and answered for my mom. On the phone I heard and sense that Aunt Jaz was crying so hard to express what was actually happened. I was like thinking that it must be regarding Atuk..or Atuk has...

    OK stop it. She has not says anything yet..be positive. But far in my gut have notions that Atuk might has passed away. Well, basically Aunt Jaz was crying so hardly and what was the logic due to that? If it's the real time for Atuk to go at that moment then no choice, it was beyond our control cause every soul will be feel the taste of death sooner or later, today or tomorrow anytime! So be prepare..

     Mom was looking at me while focusing on driving and take the phone from me. She tried to calm Aunt Jaz and make her to tell what was going on actually. That woman in so depth of despair however just said "abah maz..abah...datang sekarang abah...abah...".  

     Now tell me what do you feel when she says like that? With tears and words to be said all going together. So, forget and cancel about ayam percik in bazaar ramadhan, top priority was heading to hospital now!

     Only god knows when we reached in the busy ward, all close relatives, siblings all surrounding the bed in despair and tears hoping for miracle to happen. I was so speechless, standing still calming myself while my mom went to see the doctor and discuss of what's going on with Atuk actually. What I knew was Atuk was totally unconscious and we just able to pray for the best.

     God's power, Atuk was given second chance fighting with his ill. You know the '3 serangkai' ills?      -Diabetes, High blood pressure, heart problem and many more. That old man even can drive his Proton Saga with his beloved wife, Wan for a stroll! Cool right? Like he has never been sick before lol. --Amazing atuk.

    Years by years going on after that until 2015 that is this year. It was about 4 months ago, during raya time. I don't know my heart really wanted to visit this loving bird at their place plus it made me even wanted to go to see them once Aunt Jaz texted saying that Atuk was not very feeling well lately. 

     I without doubt, by using my persuasive power asking my sweetheart mom to pay them a visit. Moreover we have not meet quite a long time so why not? Plus truth to be told Atuk was actually not very well. 

    So yes, we visited them and spend our raya together on that evening. As informed, Atuk was weak, bed lying sleeping for the whole day. How poor right? I can't imagine what will going happened to me when my age reach 67 something. Gulp!

    Atuk asked me "how was study? Am I fully recovered yet? " In my eyes, that old man was so like seriously looked ill and weak but I whispered in my heart that everything's going fine. Chill. He even forced himself to wake up of the bed just to join our conversation in the living room. Atuk complains that he was suffering from big swollen feet these few days and it was painful. All in all, he refuses to go to hospital to see doctor. Well said huh! My mom tried her luck in convincing him to see doctor in hospital, had a slow talk and explained nicely just in case if he wants to see doctor tomorrow? Then in the middle of chit chatting, he suddenly falls asleep on sofa zzzzzz. Poor atuk..

     Mission accomplished, Atuk finally relenting to see doctor and it is not a surprise to have him admitted in the ward for further supervision. As for me, oh it's okay..as just like last time in 2010 the same thing he has been admitted and Atuk will get better soon, so no worries. 

    Thus, my mom will pay him a visit to see his condition whether he is comfortable or not besides help to scrubbing since Atuk unable to wake up and walk to the bathroom and feed him foods---though after lots of convincing. Meanwhile Wan, the strongest ever lady that always be there for Atuk in whatever situation is. Never for once she leave Atuk alone in hospital even after we persuaded her to have some rest at home just let Aunt Jaz wait for a while for Atuk. A big NO all the time the answer would be. "How come I leave Atuk, my other half lying weakly here on hospital bed and go home? No. It's okay, he needs me here, I must take care of him my husband no matter what it is." ---Fine Wan as you wish hmmm. Both same stubborn but sweet.

    That week, the whole week from Monday to Thursday...mom will updates about Atuk when she's home. The most shocking one was on Friday. I could remember of it clearly. I came down stairs to see mom in the kitchen and as usual what's up with atuk? When he's going to be discharged? Is he eats today things like that.
Mom keeps quite..then up her head towards me collecting the strength to tell it. Seriously, I didn't expect anything at all!

Slowly and calmly she said that "Atuk dah tak ada...baru lagi tak ada lepas asar tadi, masa mama naik kat ward doctor tengah buat CPR...atuk dah tak ada."

And tears coming down from the eyes can't be hold anymore...ya Allah.. innalillahi wainnaila hirojion.

I just saw him on Sunday and on Monday he willingly to see the doctor after my mom persuaded him to do so! His condition just not so critical and we didn't expect of all this. And now he's gone? Is this just a dream or what? 

 My heartbeat such stopped from beating  for a sec once be told of that news :(

All in all, back in 2010 Atuk was given the second chance to live more up till now within 5 years and it's the time for him to go now. The illness was only the cause but it is actually the time. Neither quick nor late for a sec. That's what Allah promised us. 

To us, that still living with no health problems etc, DON'T expect that you are going to die late. Furthermore, be grateful and appreciate people around you before it is too late. You know what im trying to say...ehem

We will never know--- so be kind and treat to our beloved person, mom, dad,siblings, grandfather, grandmother etc  nicely with full of our heart.

You know, no matter how much of mother that we do have but REMEMBER that we do only have one BIOLOGICAL MOTHER who has fighting her life and death in delivering us into this world. Hug them tightly, say I LOVE YOU everyday to her, please her sincerely. Not to forget to our father who has always be there for us despite through thick and thin.

Just love them...

Cause love is what matter most <3

P/s: I Love you mama and abah to the moon and back, muahh cikit! 

(Al-fatihah to Allahyarham Jaafar may he will be placed in the best place among the solehin there)


Wan and Aunt Jaz during Amar's birthday celebration and their high school reunion

Last raya picture of Allahyarham Atuk.